24 November 2008
Like Father, Like Son
Betty ran across some childhood pictures of Mike making faces that bear some resemblance to faces Ben makes...
21 November 2008
20 November 2008
Random Acts of Kidness
After I pick up Ben at preschool, I get to read a small blurb about what he'd done that day. Imagine my surprise when I read that he was working on a project for Random Acts of Kidness week.
Random Acts of Kidness week? What is Random Acts of Kidness week? But most importantly, how does one celebrate Random Acts of Kidness week? Throw a fit when you don't get your way? When asked to clean your room, shove all your stuff under the bed? Feed your vegetables to the dog?
How would you celebrate Random Acts of Kidness week?
PS I do realize that it should have been Random Acts of Kindness week. :)
Random Acts of Kidness week? What is Random Acts of Kidness week? But most importantly, how does one celebrate Random Acts of Kidness week? Throw a fit when you don't get your way? When asked to clean your room, shove all your stuff under the bed? Feed your vegetables to the dog?
How would you celebrate Random Acts of Kidness week?
PS I do realize that it should have been Random Acts of Kindness week. :)
04 November 2008
02 October 2008
What? Crack Shortage Blamed for Violence
When I saw this, I knew it was a slow news day...
If you want to read more, click here.
From Local 12:
Drug dealers and buyers face a fresh surge of violence as the supply of crack cocaine dwindles and the demand does not. We're not talking Wall Street here, just the city streets of Cincinnati, where selling rocks of crack cocaine was brisk and lucrative business. Now, it's a more deadly business than ever before. There isn't enough crack cocaine to go around. And there is no bailout for this troubled industry.
If you want to read more, click here.
29 September 2008
Butter Side Down
As Ben and I were eating breakfast the other day, I noticed that he was eating his toast with the butter side down and toward his tongue. I was going to correct him but stopped.
I asked myself, "Self, why don't you eat your toast butter side down? When you make a sandwich, do you not put the condiments you want to taste toward the bottom so you can taste them better? Why not eat the toast butter side down so you can fully taste the butter and the nuances of the bread that the butter brings out?"
I had no good answer for myself other than my parents corrected me when I was small and since there was no danger of the butter falling off the toast in its upside down position (as might happen with jelly, preserves, or apple butter) there's no good reason not to eat the toast butter side down.
But, then something else struck me, what other bread am I not tasting fully?
So, remembering Jesus, the bread of life, who gave His life for me, I joyfully turned my toast butter side down and took a big bite, savoring the melted goodness of the butter within the nooks and crannies.
I asked myself, "Self, why don't you eat your toast butter side down? When you make a sandwich, do you not put the condiments you want to taste toward the bottom so you can taste them better? Why not eat the toast butter side down so you can fully taste the butter and the nuances of the bread that the butter brings out?"
I had no good answer for myself other than my parents corrected me when I was small and since there was no danger of the butter falling off the toast in its upside down position (as might happen with jelly, preserves, or apple butter) there's no good reason not to eat the toast butter side down.
But, then something else struck me, what other bread am I not tasting fully?
32 Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, it is not Moses who has given you the bread from heaven, but it is my Father who gives you the true bread from heaven. 33 For the bread of God is he who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world."
34 "Sir," they said, "from now on give us this bread."
35 Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty. 36 But as I told you, you have seen me and still you do not believe. 37 All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. 38 For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. 39 And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all that he has given me, but raise them up at the last day. 40 For my Father's will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day."
John 6:32-40 (NIV)
So, remembering Jesus, the bread of life, who gave His life for me, I joyfully turned my toast butter side down and took a big bite, savoring the melted goodness of the butter within the nooks and crannies.
"Taste and see that the LORD is good;" Psalm 34:8a (NIV)
09 September 2008
Face Time w/McCain and Palin
At noon on Saturday, the Straight Talk Express buses pulled up to the hotel after touring Pittsburgh. Some others from our group were waiting at the end of the hall and Ben and I were able to sneak to the front because Ben is cute and short. He tried to run out into the main hall and was stopped by Secret Service. As you can tell by his face, he wasn't really interested in waiting for McCain. He wanted to return to the game room and finish the game he was playing with Papa Mark. McCain came in and addressed the group front right in front of me. When I couldn't get Ben to come out from behind my legs, I stood up to shake McCain's hand. As I was shaking his hand, Palin came in. He asked if I'd met Palin and introduced her to me. I shook her hand. I believe that McCain's curiosity was picqued by a glimpse of the crayon drawn Presidential symbol on Ben's shirt and he asked what it said. Ben was wearing his "Future Leader...I can do all things through Jesus" t-shirt. Palin asked if Ben was in school yet and tried to get Ben to come out and meet Piper, who was just adorable during her Mom's speech at the convention...you can't script that stuff.
Generally, the group tends to be liberal and athesists. They were already unhappy with McCain before his comings and goings disrupted our gathering. He gave them something else to harp on by asking that that we pray for him and Palin, especially over the next couple of days. A few of them took great pleasure in saying, "Can you BELIEVE he asked us to PRAY for him?" On Sunday, I got tired of hearing it over and over and came out in defense of McCain letting everyone know that he had asked about Ben's shirt, what the shirt said, my cross necklace, and that he probably felt safe in asking for prayer based on his interactions with me because when you're in a group of Christians it's okay to ask for prayer. After that, they either didn't bring it up again or, at least, didn't bring it up around me.
Well, that was my face time with McCain and Palin. All in all, I found them nice and real people. I've loved what they've had to say since and I will be watching all the upcoming debates.
28 August 2008
I've Been Published!
Many months ago I was approached regarding a picture of a Pepsi truck I had taken during an Opening Day Parade. They wished to use it in a book that they were working on. I gave them permission and was promised a copy of the book when it was published.
I had almost forgotten about it until the UPS truck pulled up and dropped off a package at my door. I opened the package to find it contained a copy of Cincinnati: Bridges to the Future. My Pepsi truck picture is on page 70. A wonderful skyline from a fellow photographer I had met at the Cincy Museum's 75th Anniversary fireworks spreads across pages 16 and 17.
I had almost forgotten about it until the UPS truck pulled up and dropped off a package at my door. I opened the package to find it contained a copy of Cincinnati: Bridges to the Future. My Pepsi truck picture is on page 70. A wonderful skyline from a fellow photographer I had met at the Cincy Museum's 75th Anniversary fireworks spreads across pages 16 and 17.
14 August 2008
It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year
It's marching band season!
I had arrived early to pickup Ben from YMCA Day Camp so as I passed the time sitting in my car listening to the 3rd Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants book I heard a familiar click-click-click. Across the street from the Y on the local high school's practice field, I saw the marching band working through their formations. Oh, how it took me back!
One time, at band camp... :)
I had arrived early to pickup Ben from YMCA Day Camp so as I passed the time sitting in my car listening to the 3rd Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants book I heard a familiar click-click-click. Across the street from the Y on the local high school's practice field, I saw the marching band working through their formations. Oh, how it took me back!
One time, at band camp... :)
10 June 2008
One Thing Leads to Another
With Mike in traveling for work, it's my first morning flying solo in a couple months. Ben was kind and slept in until 7 AM, played nicely in his room until 7:30, and continued to play nicely while I took a much needed shower. I used the last of the spray sunscreen this morning getting Ben ready for day camp. Note to self: Buy more spray sunscreen.
After a breakfast of Kixs and a banana, I got some dishes put in the dishwasher and started them before leaving to drop Ben off at day camp. When I got back home, I remembered that I meant to make banana bread yesterday and the bananas were about to flip from being perfectly overripe to needing to be thrown away. In the process of making the banana bread, I decided to use straight up sugar versus the Splenda brown sugar blend I've been using recently. When I went for the flour, I realized that we were out of "normal" flour and all that was left was the organic stone-ground whole wheat flour. Ben refuses to eat pancakes made from this flour. All in all, the bread turned out okay. It tastes more of the wheat flour than bananas. Hopefully, Ben will eat these, but I'm not sure. Note to self: If using the organic stone-ground whole wheat flour again, either try less flour, more banana, more sugar, or some combination of such.
Somehow between stopping at McD's to pick up lunch and actually picking Ben up from day camp, my rear passenger tire went flat. This was 10 minutes before I was supposed to pick Ben up and they had threatened in literature sent home to charge a dollar per minute that you were late picking your child up. I immediately called them to let them know what had happened, where I was, my cell phone number, and if I didn't get this fixed quickly that Ben could go home with the other Ben from his nursery school that was thankfully attending day camp this week. Of course, I had committed the other mom to this without clearing it with her but she's wonderful and I knew it wouldn't be a problem. I knew it would take AAA an hour to get there to change my tire and that was not acceptable. I turned into SuperMom. I pulled that full-sized spare out of the trunk, jacked the car up, and got the hubcap off the tire in no time flat. It was then that I met my nemesis, Rusty Lugnuts. Pleased that I had made it that far, I called AAA to get help with the lug nuts and was told it could be up to an hour before anyone got there and they'd ring my cell phone 5 minutes prior to arrival. I was about to call the day camp with a progress report when God sent a gentleman returning to his office asking if I needed some help. Yeah God! He had a little bit of difficulty with Rusty but was able to get all the lug nuts off, pull the tire, and put the other on. I put the flat in the trunk while he tightened the lug nuts in a clockwise fashion and not in a star pattern. I told the man thank you, let the jack down, threw everything in the trunk, called the day camp to let them know I was coming, and was only 10 minutes late in picking up Ben. Pam, as awesome as she is, was ready to take Ben with her and Ben but waited because I had called. Note to self: Unless you plan on hitting the gym and working on that upper body strength, do not attempt to change your own tire. Or, at the very least, start by calling AAA so that a driver might be coming during the time you spend getting the spare out and the car jacked up.
Since we were already in the area and I don't like the idea of having a flat spare tire because heaven forbid I blow another one and then what, we headed over to the Toyota dealership to get the flat fixed. I went to the dealership because I have road hazard insurance on my tires and the last time I had a flat it cost around $10 for a brand new tire. With no appointment and being short staffed, they were still able to get me in. After watching the last little bits of Jakers! and Full House, some Ace of Cakes, the previous night's Reds game, and the ending of Animal Cops, and shelling out $20, my tire was plugged and back in the trunk. I haven't checked yet if they put everything away neatly or not. Note to self: If you plan on making an overtired and overstimulated 4 year old wait patiently in a car dealership customer waiting area just so you feel better about having a good spare, don't forget to bring in some toys from the car.
After leaving the dealership, we ran into backed-up traffic on the highway. I detoured around where I thought the problem was only to realize that the back-up on the first highway was caused by an accident on the second and I had plopped myself into said accident traffic without any way of getting out other than to crawl at a snail's pace around it. After passing the accident, we had no problems getting home. Note to self: Listen when the little voice in your head when it tells you to take the longer detour instead of the normal detour.
It was 3 PM before Ben got into his bed for nap time (2 hours later than normal) and another hour before he finally calmed down enough for his overtired and overstimulated body to drift off to sleep. We weren't able to make the cheap day showing of Horton Hears a Who at the cheap theater as we had planned. Instead, some friends stopped over to borrow Ben's pirate costume for pirate day tomorrow at their day camp. We had a really nice visit with them before and after Ben woke up from his nap. After they'd left, we ate last night's leftover pizza while we watched the classic animated versions of Horton Hears a Who and How the Grinch Stole Christmas which was on the How the Grinch Stole Christmas DVD I'd received for Christmas years ago. Note to self: Don't stress when things don't go as planned...you never know what other amusing diversion might present itself.
Throughout today while all this stuff was happening, people asked me how my day had been going and I said fine. Note to self: Unless you share all the exciting details of your day as a stay-at-home mom, people are going to think that you have a really boring life.
After a breakfast of Kixs and a banana, I got some dishes put in the dishwasher and started them before leaving to drop Ben off at day camp. When I got back home, I remembered that I meant to make banana bread yesterday and the bananas were about to flip from being perfectly overripe to needing to be thrown away. In the process of making the banana bread, I decided to use straight up sugar versus the Splenda brown sugar blend I've been using recently. When I went for the flour, I realized that we were out of "normal" flour and all that was left was the organic stone-ground whole wheat flour. Ben refuses to eat pancakes made from this flour. All in all, the bread turned out okay. It tastes more of the wheat flour than bananas. Hopefully, Ben will eat these, but I'm not sure. Note to self: If using the organic stone-ground whole wheat flour again, either try less flour, more banana, more sugar, or some combination of such.
Somehow between stopping at McD's to pick up lunch and actually picking Ben up from day camp, my rear passenger tire went flat. This was 10 minutes before I was supposed to pick Ben up and they had threatened in literature sent home to charge a dollar per minute that you were late picking your child up. I immediately called them to let them know what had happened, where I was, my cell phone number, and if I didn't get this fixed quickly that Ben could go home with the other Ben from his nursery school that was thankfully attending day camp this week. Of course, I had committed the other mom to this without clearing it with her but she's wonderful and I knew it wouldn't be a problem. I knew it would take AAA an hour to get there to change my tire and that was not acceptable. I turned into SuperMom. I pulled that full-sized spare out of the trunk, jacked the car up, and got the hubcap off the tire in no time flat. It was then that I met my nemesis, Rusty Lugnuts. Pleased that I had made it that far, I called AAA to get help with the lug nuts and was told it could be up to an hour before anyone got there and they'd ring my cell phone 5 minutes prior to arrival. I was about to call the day camp with a progress report when God sent a gentleman returning to his office asking if I needed some help. Yeah God! He had a little bit of difficulty with Rusty but was able to get all the lug nuts off, pull the tire, and put the other on. I put the flat in the trunk while he tightened the lug nuts in a clockwise fashion and not in a star pattern. I told the man thank you, let the jack down, threw everything in the trunk, called the day camp to let them know I was coming, and was only 10 minutes late in picking up Ben. Pam, as awesome as she is, was ready to take Ben with her and Ben but waited because I had called. Note to self: Unless you plan on hitting the gym and working on that upper body strength, do not attempt to change your own tire. Or, at the very least, start by calling AAA so that a driver might be coming during the time you spend getting the spare out and the car jacked up.
Since we were already in the area and I don't like the idea of having a flat spare tire because heaven forbid I blow another one and then what, we headed over to the Toyota dealership to get the flat fixed. I went to the dealership because I have road hazard insurance on my tires and the last time I had a flat it cost around $10 for a brand new tire. With no appointment and being short staffed, they were still able to get me in. After watching the last little bits of Jakers! and Full House, some Ace of Cakes, the previous night's Reds game, and the ending of Animal Cops, and shelling out $20, my tire was plugged and back in the trunk. I haven't checked yet if they put everything away neatly or not. Note to self: If you plan on making an overtired and overstimulated 4 year old wait patiently in a car dealership customer waiting area just so you feel better about having a good spare, don't forget to bring in some toys from the car.
After leaving the dealership, we ran into backed-up traffic on the highway. I detoured around where I thought the problem was only to realize that the back-up on the first highway was caused by an accident on the second and I had plopped myself into said accident traffic without any way of getting out other than to crawl at a snail's pace around it. After passing the accident, we had no problems getting home. Note to self: Listen when the little voice in your head when it tells you to take the longer detour instead of the normal detour.
It was 3 PM before Ben got into his bed for nap time (2 hours later than normal) and another hour before he finally calmed down enough for his overtired and overstimulated body to drift off to sleep. We weren't able to make the cheap day showing of Horton Hears a Who at the cheap theater as we had planned. Instead, some friends stopped over to borrow Ben's pirate costume for pirate day tomorrow at their day camp. We had a really nice visit with them before and after Ben woke up from his nap. After they'd left, we ate last night's leftover pizza while we watched the classic animated versions of Horton Hears a Who and How the Grinch Stole Christmas which was on the How the Grinch Stole Christmas DVD I'd received for Christmas years ago. Note to self: Don't stress when things don't go as planned...you never know what other amusing diversion might present itself.
Throughout today while all this stuff was happening, people asked me how my day had been going and I said fine. Note to self: Unless you share all the exciting details of your day as a stay-at-home mom, people are going to think that you have a really boring life.
11 May 2008
Do One Thing Everyday That Scares You
Those words from Baz Luhrmann's Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen) (lyrics) have stuck with me since I first heard the spoken word/song mix. When I went to look up the lyrics for this post, imagine my surprise when I found that the next part of the lyrics was "sing" because that was what I was going to post about in the first place.
I auditioned for the worship minister at our new church on April 23rd which in itself was nerve wracking because I really haven't auditioned (or checked my vocal range) since high school. He told me I was a low alto and had a nice voice which is very nice to hear from an unbiased third party. Hearing feedback from your friends is sometimes like hearing your parents tell you that you're beautiful. You're never sure if they really mean it or if they're just telling you things to boost your self-esteem. He told me that I would need to audition with the gentleman in charge of worship at our location. That happened today.
I was already starting the day feeling intimated by the fact that I was fairly sure that the other ladies that sang on worship team all had majored in music in college with one just leaving to try her luck on Broadway and here I was trying to do this with some high school choir and some tips and tricks I had picked up since. I had been deemed a soprano in HS and only seriously trying to be an alto for the last couple of years. Up until now, I had been one of four to five on stage singing. If I didn't know the harmony, I could sing melody. I'm not the best of picking out an alto part but once I know the part I'm solid. I had been supplied with the songs on paper and CD and had been practicing like crazy all week. I felt as confident as I could going into today only to have everything fall apart. Due to circumstances beyond our control, we ended up with no bass player and no drummer which necessitated dropping one song and picking up another which if this had been at my old church would have been no problem because I was familiar with the band's repertoire of songs. The problem was that this church had a different repertoire, most of which I'd never heard before (I really need to spend some time with Hillsong and Passion), so picking an old faithful for them was me (learning/figuring out a harmony to) a whole new song less than an hour before service. Yikes!
I haven't heard any feedback from anyone regarding my audition today. Mike had to stay home because Ben has had a fever that has fluctuated all the way up to 104. My small group all works in the children's area so I couldn't get any feedback from them. So, I am waiting to hear back as to whether or not I will be asked to sing again. At this point, I would be psyched if they said yes and wouldn't be hurt if they said no. If no, I'll wait until I feel more comfortable with their old reliables and ask to try again.
May 14: I just got an email asking if I was available to sing again. Due to scheduling conflicts this won't happen until sometime in July. More time to practice. :)
I auditioned for the worship minister at our new church on April 23rd which in itself was nerve wracking because I really haven't auditioned (or checked my vocal range) since high school. He told me I was a low alto and had a nice voice which is very nice to hear from an unbiased third party. Hearing feedback from your friends is sometimes like hearing your parents tell you that you're beautiful. You're never sure if they really mean it or if they're just telling you things to boost your self-esteem. He told me that I would need to audition with the gentleman in charge of worship at our location. That happened today.
I was already starting the day feeling intimated by the fact that I was fairly sure that the other ladies that sang on worship team all had majored in music in college with one just leaving to try her luck on Broadway and here I was trying to do this with some high school choir and some tips and tricks I had picked up since. I had been deemed a soprano in HS and only seriously trying to be an alto for the last couple of years. Up until now, I had been one of four to five on stage singing. If I didn't know the harmony, I could sing melody. I'm not the best of picking out an alto part but once I know the part I'm solid. I had been supplied with the songs on paper and CD and had been practicing like crazy all week. I felt as confident as I could going into today only to have everything fall apart. Due to circumstances beyond our control, we ended up with no bass player and no drummer which necessitated dropping one song and picking up another which if this had been at my old church would have been no problem because I was familiar with the band's repertoire of songs. The problem was that this church had a different repertoire, most of which I'd never heard before (I really need to spend some time with Hillsong and Passion), so picking an old faithful for them was me (learning/figuring out a harmony to) a whole new song less than an hour before service. Yikes!
I haven't heard any feedback from anyone regarding my audition today. Mike had to stay home because Ben has had a fever that has fluctuated all the way up to 104. My small group all works in the children's area so I couldn't get any feedback from them. So, I am waiting to hear back as to whether or not I will be asked to sing again. At this point, I would be psyched if they said yes and wouldn't be hurt if they said no. If no, I'll wait until I feel more comfortable with their old reliables and ask to try again.
May 14: I just got an email asking if I was available to sing again. Due to scheduling conflicts this won't happen until sometime in July. More time to practice. :)
27 April 2008
Reflections from a McD's Playplace
My Thoughts from Wednesday, April 23rd:
- Why can the only shade be found if you sit on the ground near the slide with your back against the playplace railing?
- When did my son become such a tattletale/rule follower? I hear him reminding every child the rules they are breaking and if he's not happy with their response then he's ratting on them to their parents. Also, when did he start to think he was the boss of every child?
- Ben came out to get a drink. What's that smell? Oh crap, Ben's pooped in his pants, again...
18 April 2008
A Whole Lot of Shakin' Going On
It's official. I am no longer an earthquake virgin.
At approximately 5:45 this morning, I was awaked by the sound of our bedroom door rattling against the big stone that we use to prop it open. (Don't ask.) While trying to figure out what that noise was from a dead sleep, I noticed that I was shaking, too. I thought, "Why am I shaking?" From beside me, with his eyes wide open waking up from a bad dream look, Mike said, "Earthquake."
The door ceased and resumed its rattling but I didn't feel more shaking so I wrote it off as, "Maybe it's just air pressure causing the door to rattle." Mike was like, "No, it's an earthquake." I then remembered from middle school geography class that there was a fault line on this side of Ohio. I told that to Mike and he reiterated that it did run up Dayton and he'd experienced tremors before.
At this point, we hear Ben take a big wake-up sigh/yawn. We both became quiet hoping Ben would roll over and go back to bed but that was not the case. Ben hardly ever goes back to sleep if he is awakened after 5:30. Mike went over and did damage control and was able to get Ben to go back to sleep for another 45 minutes before starting the day.
I get on the computer this morning to figure out what happened and found there was a 5.4 quake in Illinois. Click on the map (which I'm borrowing from CNN) to get the full earthquake story.
11:20 am - Small aftershock? No rattling door but I thought I felt movement.
At approximately 5:45 this morning, I was awaked by the sound of our bedroom door rattling against the big stone that we use to prop it open. (Don't ask.) While trying to figure out what that noise was from a dead sleep, I noticed that I was shaking, too. I thought, "Why am I shaking?" From beside me, with his eyes wide open waking up from a bad dream look, Mike said, "Earthquake."
The door ceased and resumed its rattling but I didn't feel more shaking so I wrote it off as, "Maybe it's just air pressure causing the door to rattle." Mike was like, "No, it's an earthquake." I then remembered from middle school geography class that there was a fault line on this side of Ohio. I told that to Mike and he reiterated that it did run up Dayton and he'd experienced tremors before.
At this point, we hear Ben take a big wake-up sigh/yawn. We both became quiet hoping Ben would roll over and go back to bed but that was not the case. Ben hardly ever goes back to sleep if he is awakened after 5:30. Mike went over and did damage control and was able to get Ben to go back to sleep for another 45 minutes before starting the day.
I get on the computer this morning to figure out what happened and found there was a 5.4 quake in Illinois. Click on the map (which I'm borrowing from CNN) to get the full earthquake story.
11:20 am - Small aftershock? No rattling door but I thought I felt movement.
10 April 2008
The Winter of Our Discontent
Preface: I finally have had a chance to rewrite/combine my previously removed posts. Hopefully, this will do a better job highlighting the timeline of events and what I felt during that time, leaving out some of the bitterness. My dissatisfaction with this whole situation is still ongoing and hopefully something positive will come out of this. Please remember that a bulk of this was written when things first happened and were sprinkled with a little of what I had learned. It doesn't reflect anything that's happened since I first wrote these in February.
Until recently, I never really paid attention to the comings and goings of the WCCC staff members. The latest departure was someone that I worked closely with, Brian, the worship minister.
Everything, from my standpoint, seemed to be normal. The choir had started meeting again in preparation for Christmas. The Sunday before this happened was a choir work day where we pulled one of every piece of music from the music library for cataloging and packed up the choir robes for the impending move to our new facility. I was dumbstruck when I received this email that our senior minister sent out to the congregation.
My first thought was to email Marla. We'd been close but hadn't really chatted in the last couple of months. I didn't feel like that I could just email and say "hey, what's going on?" So, I emailed "I know I haven't had a chance to talk to you lately and I'm not pressing for any real details about what's happening. But...are you moving? I'll miss you. :(" I really didn't know what else to say.
Needless to say, the current choir was disbanded almost immediately. The next couple of Sundays were weird but we still had familiar people up front leading worship. I did pass some emails back and forth with Brian but he didn't feel free to discuss the particulars of his resignation. I had a few brief conversations to see if there was any news through the grapevine as to why but there wasn't. It was just bing, bang, boom, done.
Sadly, my life was hectic and this got pushed to the back of my mind. My life is funny that way. I get so much on my plate that I can only focus on what seems to be the most critical or the one with the closest deadline. Is this common or just me? I had to find places for the things I'd purchased for/during the cruise, get the digital pictures cropped and uploaded somewhere for my extended family to view, make a trip out to Iowa for Mike's grandmother's funeral services, and get ready for my final MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) meeting at our old church facility.
Imagine my surprise when this email meets my inbox fourteen days later.
My first thought was "Crap, this is the same night as MOPS. I can't go." I immediately turned around and emailed to see if this was the only practice for the final worship service at the old facility. I gave up on attending. It wasn't until MOPS that night that I was strongly told by the speaker who was a member of our congregation that I simply must go to the practice.
So, I went. I can't say that I was happy to be there. I felt guilty leaving my mentor moms to run my MOPS meeting. The new worship director seemed like a nice enough lady. I left the meeting in a funk. I was upset about all the new faces that had never shown up for Christmas or Easter choirs while Brian was leading. I was upset that I'd missed my MOPS meeting that I really did want to attend. For the first time, I didn't feel like singing and that scared me.
Fast forward to Sunday. I didn't feel like singing so I didn't report when the choir was supposed to report. Since we aren't allowed to wear jeans on the platform, I purposely put on blue jeans so that I couldn't be pulled up into the choir. I cried serious tears whenever music was played through the whole service. If Ben had not done his crazy dancing while the rest of the preschoolers sang the closing song and made me laugh, I would have left service that day completely heartbroken.
I ended up talking (and subsequently crying to) our children's minister over the phone on Monday. She could tell by my voice that something was off and I broke down. She contacted our chairman of the elders who called me and set up a time to meet and talk.
Below are some of the concerns from the document that I created so that I'd cover all the points I wanted to get covered when I met with the chairman of the elders.
Brian's Resignation
I do not believe that Brian's resignation was planned by him and was done to avoid having to say to future employers that he had been fired from his previous position. Why do I believe that?
Follow-Up: Definition from Wiki: A gag order (or "suppression order") is an order, sometimes a legal order by a court or government, other times a private order by an employer or other institution, restricting information or comment from being made public. For the last several years, we have been encouraged to live in community with the other members of our congregation. This may have been done to protect the church body but it cut off our hands and feet in being able to reach out and help Brian and Marla through their hurts.
Cancellation of Currently Planned Choir Music/Rehearsal Schedule
The current choir, which already had a month or so of practicing under our belts, was disbanded. Nothing that we were practicing is going to be used by Paula in upcoming services. I sacrificed precious family time for seemingly nothing.
Call for Choir Members
An email was sent out to all past and current choir members to get them to mark their calendars for a practice with a yet unnamed worship leader for the November 11th and December 2nd services. At first I wanted to go but I couldn't because the practice was scheduled on top of my MOPS meeting. I emailed Diane to see if that was going to be the only practice for those services or if another practice would happen for the December 2nd service. Her answer was that she wasn't sure.
Announcement of/Practice with Paula
I didn't understand why David talked Paula up as much as he did. He really oversold her and it made me suspicious.
I got a chance to meet Paula prior to meeting/practice and she seemed like a nice person.
Because my MOPS meeting in Connection Central started at 7 PM and the choir practice in the Worship Center started at 7:30 PM, I created signage to keep people from cutting through Connection Central during my meeting. I felt totally rude doing so especially when people came in and groaned about not being able to cut through. I fully intended to stay and listen to MOPS speaker that night but she told me I had a gift and needed to go to practice. She sent me and a handful of others out of the meeting.
When I entered the Worship Center, I was so mad because the number of people who turned out for this practice was more than when Brian would put out calls for the Christmas and Easter choirs. It didn't seem right to me. If God gifted you to sing, you should sing no matter who is directing.
I stayed for the whole practice although I wanted to leave.
Follow-up: That night then threw me into the funk that I was in. Getting a chance to sleep on it, I believe I was upset because it was the first instance when the "resignation" was real. It was the first time that any sort of worship was led by an "outsider." It was the first time I realized Brian was truly gone. I'm sorry to say that I'd been caught up in my own little world and didn't process any of this until then.
Saturday/Sunday
On Saturday, I discussed the details of Brian's "resignation" and that I'd lost my desire to sing with a dear friend of mine. She advised that I take this opportunity to take a break from the Worship Arts Ministry until things settle down.
Come Sunday, I didn't feel like singing. In itself, it was enough to cause me to worry. I never imagined that I would ever not feel like singing. I didn't dress appropriately or report when the choir was asked to report. I spent almost the entire worship time crying. At the time, I didn't know why I was crying. They weren't tears of joy. They were tears of heartbreak. I've since been able to identify two reasons I was crying but I know there are more that I haven't processed yet. The main one was that I felt that it should have been Brian up there on that historic day. The second was that I wasn't up there on that historic day and if Brian had been there then I wouldn't have lost my desire to sing and I would have been up there. I almost cried through David's sermon, too. If Ben had not done what he had done at the end of service, I would have left absolutely heartbroken.
This Week
Mark called and asked me to sing on worship team. I turned him down at first because I feared that I wouldn't be able to hold it together. The more I thought about it the more I regretted turning him down. I feared that I wouldn't be able to sing for the December 2nd service for the same known and unknown reasons that I couldn't sing last Sunday. I believe I can work with Mark because I don't see him as a replacement but a placeholder. I also didn't want to miss out on singing at all of the historical services. The opening was still available and I plan on singing this Sunday.
Follow-up: I ended up not singing for the December 2nd service so I'm glad that I at least was a part of the church's soft opening service on November 18th.
The Future of the Worship Arts Ministry
David has stated that he felt that Paula filled our congregation's need. I believe her to be a band-aid to the current situation. While I do not necessarily feel that Paula's previous issue is cause enough not to hire her (for we are all sinners in need of forgiveness and second chances), I have other concerns about her.
I truly hope that we are continuing to look for another full-time worship minister. There are too many aspects that need covered and I fear that a part-time commuting person in this role will not provide the consistent excellence we've come to expect from the Worship Arts Ministry.
Follow-up: Paula is still with WCCC and the interim part of her title is gone. As I understand, she works in the office all day Thursday and leads 3 of 4 Sundays a month as she still is committed to perform with/for some other group. We've had a couple of other worship leaders come in on the Sundays that she's not performing but I've heard that some of them had been told that the full-time position is not currently available due to budget constraints.
Epilogue? It's now spring...a time for new life and growth. As I wrote above, I'm hoping a positive can come out of all of this. I'm pretty sure it will. I'll post more later, but for now I need to turn off my laptop and pick Ben up from school. TTFN!
Until recently, I never really paid attention to the comings and goings of the WCCC staff members. The latest departure was someone that I worked closely with, Brian, the worship minister.
Everything, from my standpoint, seemed to be normal. The choir had started meeting again in preparation for Christmas. The Sunday before this happened was a choir work day where we pulled one of every piece of music from the music library for cataloging and packed up the choir robes for the impending move to our new facility. I was dumbstruck when I received this email that our senior minister sent out to the congregation.
I am writing today to inform you that Brian Donaldson will no longer be serving as the worship minister at WCCC. Brian resigned last evening, October 17th and will be seeking God's leading concerning his future service. For various reasons, it is not our practice to discuss specific details of any staff resignation; however, let me assure you that this is not the result of any moral or ethical failure. I, along with the elders, want to thank Brian for the 4 years of work he has done in leading our worship gatherings, and we pray for God's very best for Brian and Marla.
The timing of this transition just weeks before we open our new building is less than ideal. But we have quality people here we are counting on to step up and help us during this important time, and I pledge to do my best to find the best person available as quickly as possible, to lead this significant area of our ministry. Thank you for your amazing support of this church and please continue to do so as we face the most challenging and exciting days in our history.
My first thought was to email Marla. We'd been close but hadn't really chatted in the last couple of months. I didn't feel like that I could just email and say "hey, what's going on?" So, I emailed "I know I haven't had a chance to talk to you lately and I'm not pressing for any real details about what's happening. But...are you moving? I'll miss you. :(" I really didn't know what else to say.
Needless to say, the current choir was disbanded almost immediately. The next couple of Sundays were weird but we still had familiar people up front leading worship. I did pass some emails back and forth with Brian but he didn't feel free to discuss the particulars of his resignation. I had a few brief conversations to see if there was any news through the grapevine as to why but there wasn't. It was just bing, bang, boom, done.
Sadly, my life was hectic and this got pushed to the back of my mind. My life is funny that way. I get so much on my plate that I can only focus on what seems to be the most critical or the one with the closest deadline. Is this common or just me? I had to find places for the things I'd purchased for/during the cruise, get the digital pictures cropped and uploaded somewhere for my extended family to view, make a trip out to Iowa for Mike's grandmother's funeral services, and get ready for my final MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) meeting at our old church facility.
Imagine my surprise when this email meets my inbox fourteen days later.
Hi WCCC Choir participants. (past and present) I am writing today with some extremely exciting news. I am finalizing a plan to bring a very gifted person to serve as an interim worship leader at WCCC. This individual would be here to lead our worship service on November 11 (our last service at Glenmore) and then be available from December 2 (our Grand Opening) on for a 3 month period. This person specializes in utilizing choirs as part of the overall worship experience.
That's all I can share at this point, but if all goes well, I'll be making an announcement this Sunday at our services regarding this. In anticipation of this, I am writing today to ask you to reserve the date of Thursday night, November 8th for a special choir rehearsal at the Glenmore building. 7:30 p.m. is the time. If you know someone who likes to sing, please invite them. There simply couldn't be a better time to jump in.
My first thought was "Crap, this is the same night as MOPS. I can't go." I immediately turned around and emailed to see if this was the only practice for the final worship service at the old facility. I gave up on attending. It wasn't until MOPS that night that I was strongly told by the speaker who was a member of our congregation that I simply must go to the practice.
So, I went. I can't say that I was happy to be there. I felt guilty leaving my mentor moms to run my MOPS meeting. The new worship director seemed like a nice enough lady. I left the meeting in a funk. I was upset about all the new faces that had never shown up for Christmas or Easter choirs while Brian was leading. I was upset that I'd missed my MOPS meeting that I really did want to attend. For the first time, I didn't feel like singing and that scared me.
Fast forward to Sunday. I didn't feel like singing so I didn't report when the choir was supposed to report. Since we aren't allowed to wear jeans on the platform, I purposely put on blue jeans so that I couldn't be pulled up into the choir. I cried serious tears whenever music was played through the whole service. If Ben had not done his crazy dancing while the rest of the preschoolers sang the closing song and made me laugh, I would have left service that day completely heartbroken.
I ended up talking (and subsequently crying to) our children's minister over the phone on Monday. She could tell by my voice that something was off and I broke down. She contacted our chairman of the elders who called me and set up a time to meet and talk.
Below are some of the concerns from the document that I created so that I'd cover all the points I wanted to get covered when I met with the chairman of the elders.
Brian's Resignation
I do not believe that Brian's resignation was planned by him and was done to avoid having to say to future employers that he had been fired from his previous position. Why do I believe that?
- Nothing in Brian's behavior or attitude reflected that this was coming.
- In the choir scheduling, Brian included an open house Christmas party at his house and promised that the M&M train would make another appearance. If someone is planning on leaving, they schedule practices and performances but they don't schedule parties.
- Some members of the choir spent the Sunday prior to his resignation packing up the choir robes and sorting out one copy of each piece of choir music from the music library so that it could be cataloged. Brian would not have purposely left the music library in such a state of disarray.
- Brian would not have left the church in such a lurch this close to the opening of the new building.
- What we were told about why Brian resigned is sketchy. We were told that Brian did nothing morally or ethically wrong and will be seeking God's leading about what he is to do in the future.
- If a resignation is planned, usually you get the “they're leaving to pursue other opportunities” excuse not the “they have no idea what they're doing next” excuse.
- This gag order that is in place has kept Brian and Marla from being able to discuss and get support from their church friends during this most stressful ordeal in their lives. It's not right that there has been a wall built between them and us. They are loved and should be allowed to be loved by the church body.
- Brian and Marla would not have been in such shock in the days following.
- When I got the email that Brian had resigned, I immediately emailed Marla asking if they were moving and that I would miss her if she was. After almost a week later, her reply was that it was a surprise and they didn't have any specific plans yet.
- While leading Adopt-A-Highway, Mike ran into Brian and Marla packing up Brian's stuff at the church offices. Mike could tell that Brian was using every bit of his strength not to break down.
- Brian's parents showed up at Trunk-or-Treat looking for them. Brian's mom underwent surgery a few days after Trunk-or-Treat and he didn't tell her before the surgery so that he wouldn't worry her.
Follow-Up: Definition from Wiki: A gag order (or "suppression order") is an order, sometimes a legal order by a court or government, other times a private order by an employer or other institution, restricting information or comment from being made public. For the last several years, we have been encouraged to live in community with the other members of our congregation. This may have been done to protect the church body but it cut off our hands and feet in being able to reach out and help Brian and Marla through their hurts.
Cancellation of Currently Planned Choir Music/Rehearsal Schedule
The current choir, which already had a month or so of practicing under our belts, was disbanded. Nothing that we were practicing is going to be used by Paula in upcoming services. I sacrificed precious family time for seemingly nothing.
Call for Choir Members
An email was sent out to all past and current choir members to get them to mark their calendars for a practice with a yet unnamed worship leader for the November 11th and December 2nd services. At first I wanted to go but I couldn't because the practice was scheduled on top of my MOPS meeting. I emailed Diane to see if that was going to be the only practice for those services or if another practice would happen for the December 2nd service. Her answer was that she wasn't sure.
Announcement of/Practice with Paula
I didn't understand why David talked Paula up as much as he did. He really oversold her and it made me suspicious.
I got a chance to meet Paula prior to meeting/practice and she seemed like a nice person.
Because my MOPS meeting in Connection Central started at 7 PM and the choir practice in the Worship Center started at 7:30 PM, I created signage to keep people from cutting through Connection Central during my meeting. I felt totally rude doing so especially when people came in and groaned about not being able to cut through. I fully intended to stay and listen to MOPS speaker that night but she told me I had a gift and needed to go to practice. She sent me and a handful of others out of the meeting.
When I entered the Worship Center, I was so mad because the number of people who turned out for this practice was more than when Brian would put out calls for the Christmas and Easter choirs. It didn't seem right to me. If God gifted you to sing, you should sing no matter who is directing.
I stayed for the whole practice although I wanted to leave.
Follow-up: That night then threw me into the funk that I was in. Getting a chance to sleep on it, I believe I was upset because it was the first instance when the "resignation" was real. It was the first time that any sort of worship was led by an "outsider." It was the first time I realized Brian was truly gone. I'm sorry to say that I'd been caught up in my own little world and didn't process any of this until then.
Saturday/Sunday
On Saturday, I discussed the details of Brian's "resignation" and that I'd lost my desire to sing with a dear friend of mine. She advised that I take this opportunity to take a break from the Worship Arts Ministry until things settle down.
Come Sunday, I didn't feel like singing. In itself, it was enough to cause me to worry. I never imagined that I would ever not feel like singing. I didn't dress appropriately or report when the choir was asked to report. I spent almost the entire worship time crying. At the time, I didn't know why I was crying. They weren't tears of joy. They were tears of heartbreak. I've since been able to identify two reasons I was crying but I know there are more that I haven't processed yet. The main one was that I felt that it should have been Brian up there on that historic day. The second was that I wasn't up there on that historic day and if Brian had been there then I wouldn't have lost my desire to sing and I would have been up there. I almost cried through David's sermon, too. If Ben had not done what he had done at the end of service, I would have left absolutely heartbroken.
This Week
Mark called and asked me to sing on worship team. I turned him down at first because I feared that I wouldn't be able to hold it together. The more I thought about it the more I regretted turning him down. I feared that I wouldn't be able to sing for the December 2nd service for the same known and unknown reasons that I couldn't sing last Sunday. I believe I can work with Mark because I don't see him as a replacement but a placeholder. I also didn't want to miss out on singing at all of the historical services. The opening was still available and I plan on singing this Sunday.
Follow-up: I ended up not singing for the December 2nd service so I'm glad that I at least was a part of the church's soft opening service on November 18th.
The Future of the Worship Arts Ministry
David has stated that he felt that Paula filled our congregation's need. I believe her to be a band-aid to the current situation. While I do not necessarily feel that Paula's previous issue is cause enough not to hire her (for we are all sinners in need of forgiveness and second chances), I have other concerns about her.
- Paula life is still based in Lexington, a commute that is around 3.5 hours round trip. It drained Brian and Marla when they had to drive in from Indiana before moving into their new house.
- How quickly will the drive become tedious?
- How often will she be able be here? How available?
- David stated that Paula would be available when she wasn't touring.
- How many weeks a year does she tour?
- Who is going to be responsible when she's unavailable?
- What level of consistency will we be able to maintain when she's not here?
- If we hire another part-time worship minister, how much fun would it be for that person never to get to do the special services (ie Christmas and Easter)?
- What happens if NECC goes through a period of healing and wants Paula back? From what I've read, the elders had been preparing the congregation for her eventual return.
- Worship Arts is more than just music. What is her experience with directing drama?
I truly hope that we are continuing to look for another full-time worship minister. There are too many aspects that need covered and I fear that a part-time commuting person in this role will not provide the consistent excellence we've come to expect from the Worship Arts Ministry.
Follow-up: Paula is still with WCCC and the interim part of her title is gone. As I understand, she works in the office all day Thursday and leads 3 of 4 Sundays a month as she still is committed to perform with/for some other group. We've had a couple of other worship leaders come in on the Sundays that she's not performing but I've heard that some of them had been told that the full-time position is not currently available due to budget constraints.
Epilogue? It's now spring...a time for new life and growth. As I wrote above, I'm hoping a positive can come out of all of this. I'm pretty sure it will. I'll post more later, but for now I need to turn off my laptop and pick Ben up from school. TTFN!
19 March 2008
Buster is Spoiled
Enter Mom and Dad. Mike and I have become pretty much addicted to this site. I log in to do the jobs, tend the garden, and play Atomolicious, the Card Challenge, and Hide-n-Skunk in the Tournament Area. I was taking classes at the Kinzville Academy but it was taking up too much time and cost money to do versus earning money. Mike likes DiceKinz and Home After Dark.
On a side note, splurging on Buster online has decreased the number of impulse buys (and then returns) I make in real life. To show for it, Buster's got a pretty sweet abode complete with a bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, entertainment room, storage, and a backyard.
I found out this weekend we aren't the only adults on Webkinz. Our friends actually have separate accounts whereas we share ours. For all you parents, no we don't accept friend requests from your children, especially after they quit a game before it's over.
Aaron Bleyaert Thinks I'm a Genius!
There are a couple blogs that I follow where I don't know the person in real life. One of these blogs belongs to Aaron Bleyaert. He's a researcher on Late Night with Conan O'Brian. By the way, when I compose a so many goals before a certain age list, seeing a taping of Late Night w/COB is definitely going on it!
Everyday, Aaron posts some "behind the scenes" type stuff. One thing that he posted was that the COB research department had made up a game called Six Degrees of Wikipedia where you have to get from one thing to another using links contained on the pages. Using the category links are not allowed. In his entry on St. Patty's day, Happy St. Zombiepatrick's Day! in which he started out complaining about all the drunken revelers and moved on to how Martha Stewart had made a crazy delicious ham on that night's show, he put out the SDoW challenge to get from Zombie to Ham. The record was 3 clicks. Check out my comment and his response by clicking the link above or looking below:
Everyday, Aaron posts some "behind the scenes" type stuff. One thing that he posted was that the COB research department had made up a game called Six Degrees of Wikipedia where you have to get from one thing to another using links contained on the pages. Using the category links are not allowed. In his entry on St. Patty's day, Happy St. Zombiepatrick's Day! in which he started out complaining about all the drunken revelers and moved on to how Martha Stewart had made a crazy delicious ham on that night's show, he put out the SDoW challenge to get from Zombie to Ham. The record was 3 clicks. Check out my comment and his response by clicking the link above or looking below:
Zombie to Ham in 3 Steps!
Zombie
Norse Mythology
Christmas Ham
Yeah, me!
************************************************************************
Aaron Responds: HOLY CRAP. That is incredible, Anonymous!! YOU ARE A GENIUS.
13 March 2008
My Word for 2008
Mandy had found another challenge about choosing a word of the year for yourself and her word for 2008 was "free." I'm been meaning to blog about this because I had decided that my word was going to be "real" but I haven't had a chance to. For me, putting myself out here in the webosphere is a way for me to be real because I'm not hiding anything and am trying to be transparent. I had removed some posts lately because, to be honest, there were some things in them that were spiteful. One of my MySpace friends have this quote on their page and I feel it's appropriate. "Never say sorry for saying how you feel, because that's like apologizing for being real." I am sorry for the spiteful things I said but not for expressing my brokenness about the whole situation. When I get a chance to revise them, the posts are coming back up without the innuendos and allegations. I will be focusing on how what's been happening made me feel.
This wasn't the way I had originally meant to announce my word but I need to address some things that have been posted about me in another forum here on my blog because this is where I express my feelings. None of the posts on this other forum belong to me and I am not even going to link to the forum at this point because it's foolishness. I have however pulled quotes from one person over there that has been bashing me.
My Timeline of Events:
October 17 - Brian "resigns"
November 15th? - Met w/Ted to discuss concerns and the future of the worship arts ministry
November 18th - Sang w/Mark
November 25th - Was to Sing w/Vic
December 2nd - Emailed Ted w/follow-up meeting concerns, Waiting for official leadership response
January 8th? - Brian speaks, Still waiting for official leadership response
January 20th - Sang w/Paula
February 2nd - Began blogging my frustration after ~79 days of no official leadership response
February 3rd - Sang w/Phil
February 5th - Began blogging the more "controversial" and "backstabbing" stuff
February 10th - Pulled down my blog posts after meeting with senior leadership
February 12th - Resigned from worship team
While I am not happy with choices the leadership have made recently, I do LOVE the people of WCCC. No, I don't enjoy being miserable but I believe in honoring my commitments. I had/have commitments to serve on worship team, lead the MOPS group, and handle most things internet for the church offices. Mike has also felt commited to stay because of his involvement as leader of adopt-a-highway and being a greeter.
For my involvement in the worship ministry, do you have any idea how hard is for me every time anyone asks me why I'm not up on the platform singing anymore? What kind of response can I give that's not injurious to the church body and without being a "destructive gossip"? I have served on worship team three times since October 17th, once w/Mark, once w/Paula and once w/Phil. I was to serve a fourth time w/Vic but that was the weekend Bryce got hurt and I was caring for the kids. I LOVE singing and still do. But after speaking with Brian, whenever I was on the platform I felt like a such a pretender, trying to be happy but not, which is why I resigned. How could I lead others when I was in such a state of disarray. I do wish to point out that at no point did I serve on worship team after writing my "backstabbing" blogs.
As for MOPS, I have stated in previous blogs that MOPS is one of the reasons that I haven't left WCCC yet. My obligation to them is through May. As it currently stands, there is no one to take over my coordinator position. Being coordinator and how the church Constitution is written, I am actually considered a Deacon watching over the mothers in my care and I feel that I am failing them. I don't like failing them. I have been in discussions with MOPS about changing our charter from the classic MOPS to MOPS@ which will make it easier on future coordinators.
And as far as being internet coordinator for the church, I am currently working on compiling all the knowledge that I can into one place for Diane to reference, but that's not an easy task.
I could just up and say screw you all, but that's not me. It never has been. My friends who have known me the longest know that I don't get all upset and emotional for no reason. I have always been the logical one. The one who thinks through everything first. The one they come to with their problems. One longtime friend who I had read my blog posts before talking with her was shocked for she knows me and my character. I have recently come back into contact with a couple other friends from my youth who are going to be really confused when they read this. I want to get back to the faith of my youth...the faith I see in Ben...the faith that even though Mommy kisses a boo-boo, it's still God that made it feel better...I'm not sure it's possible at WCCC.
And still, I can find song to be the soundtrack for my life. :)
This wasn't the way I had originally meant to announce my word but I need to address some things that have been posted about me in another forum here on my blog because this is where I express my feelings. None of the posts on this other forum belong to me and I am not even going to link to the forum at this point because it's foolishness. I have however pulled quotes from one person over there that has been bashing me.
To the young lady who has so feverishly tried to ruin the "gift" God has given to WCCC I have one thing to say..."Please stop. You are hurting others and making yourself look foolish". On one of your blogs that has since been removed (I believe) you said "Speak Lord for your servant is listening" I refuse to believe that God is telling you to be a destructive gossip, so you may want to rethink that one. Just some friendly advice.....
FYI, as well (Jennifer Franks) I am the one that tipped off the leadership about what you were blogging on your personal sight. I find it appalling that you were on stage with a mic in your hand leading worship music with a worship director you were stabbing in the back on the internet. I also noticed that you ONLY posted comments (which was all of one)that supported your nausiating cause. I for one am sick of trying to defend "the word of God" to an individual or a small groupie clan who obviously only read the cliff notes!!! If you hate the leadership so much why are you still there? Do you enjoy being miserable? Please GROW UP AND GET OVER IT!!!!
My Timeline of Events:
October 17 - Brian "resigns"
November 15th? - Met w/Ted to discuss concerns and the future of the worship arts ministry
November 18th - Sang w/Mark
November 25th - Was to Sing w/Vic
December 2nd - Emailed Ted w/follow-up meeting concerns, Waiting for official leadership response
January 8th? - Brian speaks, Still waiting for official leadership response
January 20th - Sang w/Paula
February 2nd - Began blogging my frustration after ~79 days of no official leadership response
February 3rd - Sang w/Phil
February 5th - Began blogging the more "controversial" and "backstabbing" stuff
February 10th - Pulled down my blog posts after meeting with senior leadership
February 12th - Resigned from worship team
While I am not happy with choices the leadership have made recently, I do LOVE the people of WCCC. No, I don't enjoy being miserable but I believe in honoring my commitments. I had/have commitments to serve on worship team, lead the MOPS group, and handle most things internet for the church offices. Mike has also felt commited to stay because of his involvement as leader of adopt-a-highway and being a greeter.
For my involvement in the worship ministry, do you have any idea how hard is for me every time anyone asks me why I'm not up on the platform singing anymore? What kind of response can I give that's not injurious to the church body and without being a "destructive gossip"? I have served on worship team three times since October 17th, once w/Mark, once w/Paula and once w/Phil. I was to serve a fourth time w/Vic but that was the weekend Bryce got hurt and I was caring for the kids. I LOVE singing and still do. But after speaking with Brian, whenever I was on the platform I felt like a such a pretender, trying to be happy but not, which is why I resigned. How could I lead others when I was in such a state of disarray. I do wish to point out that at no point did I serve on worship team after writing my "backstabbing" blogs.
As for MOPS, I have stated in previous blogs that MOPS is one of the reasons that I haven't left WCCC yet. My obligation to them is through May. As it currently stands, there is no one to take over my coordinator position. Being coordinator and how the church Constitution is written, I am actually considered a Deacon watching over the mothers in my care and I feel that I am failing them. I don't like failing them. I have been in discussions with MOPS about changing our charter from the classic MOPS to MOPS@ which will make it easier on future coordinators.
And as far as being internet coordinator for the church, I am currently working on compiling all the knowledge that I can into one place for Diane to reference, but that's not an easy task.
I could just up and say screw you all, but that's not me. It never has been. My friends who have known me the longest know that I don't get all upset and emotional for no reason. I have always been the logical one. The one who thinks through everything first. The one they come to with their problems. One longtime friend who I had read my blog posts before talking with her was shocked for she knows me and my character. I have recently come back into contact with a couple other friends from my youth who are going to be really confused when they read this. I want to get back to the faith of my youth...the faith I see in Ben...the faith that even though Mommy kisses a boo-boo, it's still God that made it feel better...I'm not sure it's possible at WCCC.
And still, I can find song to be the soundtrack for my life. :)
"Who I Am Hates Who I've Been" - Relient K
I watched the proverbial sunrise
Coming up over the Pacific and
You might think I'm losing my mind,
But I will shy away from the specifics...
'cause I don't want you to know where I am
'cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been.
This is no place to try and live my life.
[Pre-Chorus]
Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
That it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.
[Chorus]
I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.
I talk to absolutely no one.
Couldn't keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside have finally begun
To create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up.
I heard the reverberating footsteps
Synching up to the beating of my heart,
And I was positive that unless I got myself together,
I would watch me fall apart.
And I can't let that happen again
'cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been.
This is no place to try and live my life.
[Pre-Chorus x2]
[Chorus]
Who I am hates who I've been
And who I am will take the second chance you gave me.
Who I am hates who I've been
'cause who I've been only ever made me...
So sorry for the person I became.
So sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.
10 March 2008
IKEA is Coming! IKEA is Coming!
Why am I so excited? I love this store. When ever I go home, I always make a trip to Pittsburgh to visit. Now, I might actually have that extra time to visit with people I've been neglecting? :)
Won't You Wear a Sweater on March 20th?
In honor of what would have been Mister Rogers' 80th birthday on March 20, Mr. McFeely — aka David Newell, the public relations director for Family Communications, Inc. (the nonprofit company founded in 1971 by Fred Rogers) — has a special request.
"We're asking everyone everywhere — from Pittsburgh to Paris — to wear their favorite sweater on that day," he asks in his best speedy delivery voice. "It doesn’t have to have a zipper down the front like the one Mister Rogers wore on the program, it just has to be special to you."
Learn more by visiting the Family Communications, Inc. website or watching the video below.
Can't see the video? Click here.
"We're asking everyone everywhere — from Pittsburgh to Paris — to wear their favorite sweater on that day," he asks in his best speedy delivery voice. "It doesn’t have to have a zipper down the front like the one Mister Rogers wore on the program, it just has to be special to you."
Learn more by visiting the Family Communications, Inc. website or watching the video below.
Can't see the video? Click here.
19 February 2008
I'm Not a Wannabe, I'm Who I Wanna Be
Mandy always finds the most interesting challenges to stretch her and I think I'm going to participate in the latest. The latest challenge she blogged about was Sarah Bowen's Best Me Challenge which challenged you to pick one song that is inspiring you right now. While I am loving on Mandisa's God Speaking song which I mentioned in my last post, I am truly rocking out to the latest Hawk Nelson single. As I'm trying to be more real, authentic, and transparent, the line of the song that I remembered from the first time I heard it on Air1 was "I'm not a wannabe, I'm who I wanna be and I intend to be how You created me."
Hawk Nelson - Friend Like That lyrics
I like it simple and I'm not a superman
I never said that I was more than that
I'm not a wannabe, I'm who I wanna be
And I intend to be how You created me
I, I need somebody on the inside
I, I want somebody who can set me free
I'm not the only one who feels like this
I've got a few others around me
Hey let me hear ya say
Make some noise if you feel this way
Hey if you got a friend like that
Hey let's scream and shout
If you know what I'm talkin' `bout
Anybody got a friend like that
I once was little and I always had a plan
You thought my friendliness was just an act
I'll be your friend indeed, and you can count on me
And I can guarantee, your friend I'll always be
I, I need somebody on the inside
I, I want somebody who can set me free
I'm not the only one who feels like this
I've got a few others around me
Hey let me hear ya say
Make some noise if you feel this way
Hey if you got a friend like that
Hey let's scream and shout
If you know what I'm talkin' `bout
Anybody got a friend like that
Does anyone out there feel alone
Can anyone hear me
Down and out, your heart is cold
It's never easy
But if you believe that there is hope
Than sing it with me
Hey let me hear ya say
Make some noise if you feel this way
Hey if you got a friend like that
Hey let's scream and shout
If you know what I'm talkin' `bout
Anybody got a friend like that
Hey let me hear ya say
Does anybody feel this way
Hey if you got a friend like that
Hey let's scream and shout
If you know what I'm talkin' `bout
Anybody got a friend like that
I, I need somebody on the inside
I, I want somebody who can set me free
I'm not the only one who feels like this
I've got a few others around me
06 February 2008
Jesus at the Drive-Thru Window
Tonight, although starting off bad, was a good night. I drove over to Mason for a Cincinnati-wide MOPS Coordinator Chat at Panera and got terribly lost. (Who knew that Montgomery Road and Mason Montgomery Road weren't the same road?) Arriving an hour late, I was the only representative from the west side of Cincy. I should have ordered something because I was so hungry but I didn't want to be harffing (sp?) down food while everyone else was discussing things. The leaders made a comment about my awesome publicity pieces and I blurted out that they didn't work very well because our group will probably be tanking next year. They still encouraged my talent but didn't really address my blurt.
After the meeting, I got to talk with the leader that's trying to grow MOPS on the westside about my conflict with Whitewater and how there's really no one to take over for me next year and how my commitment to MOPS through May is one of the few reasons that are keeping us from leaving Whitewater. We're going to meet again in a few weeks about changing the charter of our MOPS group from a classic MOPS group to a MOPS@ group which is more of a small group and really is how our group is functioning right now.
We prayed over things and I felt much better. In the car, I heard a song on the radio I've never heard before that spoke to me. I stopped at a Wendy's on my way home and Jesus handed me my Single Combo with a Diet Coke.
Speak Lord for your servant listens. :)
Edited 2/7/08: Figured out the song was Mandisa's God Speaking.
After the meeting, I got to talk with the leader that's trying to grow MOPS on the westside about my conflict with Whitewater and how there's really no one to take over for me next year and how my commitment to MOPS through May is one of the few reasons that are keeping us from leaving Whitewater. We're going to meet again in a few weeks about changing the charter of our MOPS group from a classic MOPS group to a MOPS@ group which is more of a small group and really is how our group is functioning right now.
We prayed over things and I felt much better. In the car, I heard a song on the radio I've never heard before that spoke to me. I stopped at a Wendy's on my way home and Jesus handed me my Single Combo with a Diet Coke.
Speak Lord for your servant listens. :)
Edited 2/7/08: Figured out the song was Mandisa's God Speaking.
23 January 2008
Family needs your prayers!
I orginally posted this on November 26th but was advised by Toni to take it down so that I wouldn't be hounded by news reporters. As Bryce is no longer the top news story, I'm going to post it again as this was a huge part of my life for the last couple of months. I'm also adding interesting article links that I had posted to our high school's forum at MySpace.
I'm a little late in posting this but late is better than never. I'm writing because of a situation that occurred here in Cincinnati Saturday night around 4:30 PM. Let me just start at the beginning...
A suspect purchased hypodermic needles from a local grocery store pharmacy where is it alleged that that suspect and two others used those needles in an SUV in the parking lot of said grocery store to shoot up heroin. This suspect was a passenger in the SUV.
The police were notified and the driver refused to pull over when asked to do so. A high speed car chase through Cincinnati ensued. Toward the end of the pursuit, the SUV clipped a pickup truck which sent the pickup truck skidding off the highway at high speed. Two police officers where waiting on the side of the highway to deploy stop sticks (you know those things that puncture tires so the car stops.) The first officer got out of the way. The second officer was not so fortunate. The truck struck Sgt. Bryce Bezdek (Toni's husband) who sustained severe head and chest trauma. He was life flighted to University Hospital where he remains in critical condition. He is stabilizing and doctors have had positive neurological responses from Bryce through they have yet to get any physical responses. Doctors are guardedly optimistic and are watching him around the clock. To respect Toni's request for privacy, I'm not going to divulge anything that hasn't been made public knowledge.
Here are some news articles and videos:
Cincinnati Police Officer Seriously Injured Helping With Chase
CPD Sergeant "Critical" After Being Struck During I-75 Suspect Pursuit
Family Of Injured CPD Sergeant Asks For Privacy And Prayers, Still Critical
Officer Critically Injured During Police Pursuit - Video - WLWT Cincinnati
Police Explain How Chase Went Wrong - Video - WLWT Cincinnati
Why do I have such an interest in this? Toni's been one of my best friends since middle school and I've known Bryce since high school. We all went to the same church in East Palestine, Ohio. I was maid of honor at their elopement. She was to be my matron of honor but unfortunate circumstances kept her from being able to fulfill that commitment.
So, how can you help? Pray. Pray hard. Pray often. Pray for Bryce to stabilize so other tests can be run and so that he can give those doctors the physical responses they're waiting for. Pray for strength for Toni to balance keeping a bedside vigil plus spend time with her children. Pray for their two precious children. Pray for strength for the rest of Bryce's family who have and will be travelling to Cincinnati. I also have on my heart to pray for the 8 year old child who was the passenger in the truck that hit Bryce. He/she was treated and released after the accident but they will forever have the vision of their car skidding and their side of the car hitting Bryce. That is a horrible vision to obtained at such a young age.
Posted December 4th:
Update on Bryce's condition:
Injured officer improving
Father of child in pick-up truck speaks out:
Driver: Chase 'not worth it'
Update on charges for driver:
Driver indicted in crash
Posted December 6th:
Update on Bryce's Condition:
Injured cop heading to rehab
Posted December 11th:
Update:
Police Officer Hurt In A Chase Goes Home
I'm a little late in posting this but late is better than never. I'm writing because of a situation that occurred here in Cincinnati Saturday night around 4:30 PM. Let me just start at the beginning...
A suspect purchased hypodermic needles from a local grocery store pharmacy where is it alleged that that suspect and two others used those needles in an SUV in the parking lot of said grocery store to shoot up heroin. This suspect was a passenger in the SUV.
The police were notified and the driver refused to pull over when asked to do so. A high speed car chase through Cincinnati ensued. Toward the end of the pursuit, the SUV clipped a pickup truck which sent the pickup truck skidding off the highway at high speed. Two police officers where waiting on the side of the highway to deploy stop sticks (you know those things that puncture tires so the car stops.) The first officer got out of the way. The second officer was not so fortunate. The truck struck Sgt. Bryce Bezdek (Toni's husband) who sustained severe head and chest trauma. He was life flighted to University Hospital where he remains in critical condition. He is stabilizing and doctors have had positive neurological responses from Bryce through they have yet to get any physical responses. Doctors are guardedly optimistic and are watching him around the clock. To respect Toni's request for privacy, I'm not going to divulge anything that hasn't been made public knowledge.
Here are some news articles and videos:
Cincinnati Police Officer Seriously Injured Helping With Chase
CPD Sergeant "Critical" After Being Struck During I-75 Suspect Pursuit
Family Of Injured CPD Sergeant Asks For Privacy And Prayers, Still Critical
Officer Critically Injured During Police Pursuit - Video - WLWT Cincinnati
Police Explain How Chase Went Wrong - Video - WLWT Cincinnati
Why do I have such an interest in this? Toni's been one of my best friends since middle school and I've known Bryce since high school. We all went to the same church in East Palestine, Ohio. I was maid of honor at their elopement. She was to be my matron of honor but unfortunate circumstances kept her from being able to fulfill that commitment.
So, how can you help? Pray. Pray hard. Pray often. Pray for Bryce to stabilize so other tests can be run and so that he can give those doctors the physical responses they're waiting for. Pray for strength for Toni to balance keeping a bedside vigil plus spend time with her children. Pray for their two precious children. Pray for strength for the rest of Bryce's family who have and will be travelling to Cincinnati. I also have on my heart to pray for the 8 year old child who was the passenger in the truck that hit Bryce. He/she was treated and released after the accident but they will forever have the vision of their car skidding and their side of the car hitting Bryce. That is a horrible vision to obtained at such a young age.
Posted December 4th:
Update on Bryce's condition:
Injured officer improving
Father of child in pick-up truck speaks out:
Driver: Chase 'not worth it'
Update on charges for driver:
Driver indicted in crash
Posted December 6th:
Update on Bryce's Condition:
Injured cop heading to rehab
Posted December 11th:
Update:
Police Officer Hurt In A Chase Goes Home
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